updates: the receptionist with a shopping habit, the slacker coworkers, and more

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

1. New receptionist has a shopping habit

She got written up for this exact same thing again, along with another (much more severe) issue. She “took the day” to get over her shock at being written up, and then never came back to work. She put in her notice after being out of the office for two weeks. I am not sad to see her go, for this and many other reasons.

2. My coworker won’t stop buying me gifts

I’m the one who wrote about her coworker that kept bringing gifts to me. This one took QUITE a turn.

I tried the script out nearly immediately after you gave it to me. At first, she said I was a “jokester” and she knew that I actually wanted everything she gave me. I had to do this two or three more times with different food items. After the final time, I was no longer her friend. She kept telling everyone I was no fun, boring, and “the world’s biggest buzzkill.” I told her to cut those comments and she, predictably, said she was “just joking.” I got my supervisor involved, and he told her to just not engage with me. This was preferable to me because she was really starting to aggravate me.

A few months later, I started to transition at work and let her know that I was going by she/they pronouns. She made a huge stink about it and said that there’s no such thing as a “them” because “people aren’t plural.” Also I’d “never be a woman” and I was somehow a pervert. This was a very public outburst and she embarrassed me and other people in the room. Our supervisor spoke to her about it immediately considering how public the outburst was. She was given the ultimatum to either stop her behavior or leave, and she opted to leave so she wouldn’t be “controlled by the pronoun police.”

Good riddance.

3. I’m asked to do more work because my slacker coworkers won’t

A few days after I wrote my letter, I received a call to interview for a job similar to my previous job but at a higher level. I received an offer for that job and started mid-March.

I now work on a team with very ambitious people who inspire me to try harder everyday.

Three of my former teammates have also left our old job in the last 2-3 months. I hope others will be motivated by those of us who’ve already left.

I’m thankful for all the advice given and realize just how miserable I actually was.

4. Should I send anything to an employee who’s out sick for several weeks? (#5 at the link)

The team member is question returned to work and continued to be very private about his health and family so I’m kinda glad I gave him space. Unfortunately not long after that he was laid off, with severance, because our company missed a profitability goal. I helped him find a new job, which he wound up not taking because he won millions of dollars in the lottery while he was in the interview phase. The last I saw of him was the front page of the local paper showing him holding the giant check. It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving family!